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You can call me.. Mami =]
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| Wow... i forgot i still had this thing... |
[Jun. 9th, 2005|12:34 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | girl fight- brooke valentine | ] |
Well Life has been...~LiFe~
FUll of its ups and downs...its random moments...SaD realiZatIons... FULL OF POINTLESS DRAMA... stupid GirLs.. Passing grades... night school... FUckIng Up Cars... "JuStifiable revenge"... FuLL oF FaKe ppL..full of HoPeFuL Lies.. full oF Dreaming for a better tomorrow... WaR...full of strangers hating you because of ONE shit talker.. GoSsIp... FULL oF TeArs mOrE thaN Laughter... full of WoRkIng more than HavIng Fun...full of LoVinG and CarIng more than OnE sHOULd care. MoStLy it's making the same mistake over and over and over again... or Running back to the one thing OnE knows they should be running AWAY from... Missing thE OnE yOu LoVe EveryDay and not being able To do ANYTHING about it... Full of keeping yourself busy with "fake friends" just to get through your day... FuLL oF KnOwing that even though ThiNgs Aren't going to work out the way you want them too... it's probably whats best.. not matter how much it hurts.
It's been a while... I'm not really into LJ too much anymore.. I've been keeping myself busy with some other stuff.. For those of you who know me... I love you and thanks for being there for me.. I havent been able to reach too many ppl cuz my cell is being gay but if you comment ill email you or something and we can chill soon....
Good ByE for NoW.
-jessica-
p.s. "Play with fire and you're gunna get burned" (a smart girl once said) |
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| I'm so sorry!!! |
[Dec. 22nd, 2004|10:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | My Chemical Romance | ] |
I'm so sorry I've negleted LJ for longer than I can even remember now!
Life's okay. Wrestling is going great! Our record is now 8-1. And I'm almost positive we're going to go to states! Grades are finally decent. And the friend department is..well...as good as it gets. I want a car! lol I just applied for a job working at Royal Carribean Cruiselines as an agent. I think I'm gunna get the job ::crosses fingers:: I need this job more than anything.
Lately, I feel like everyone is always so competitive with me. I don't understand it. It's almost like everyone has to out do me in any and everyway possible. I hate it so much. It's getting on my last nerve just because I'm not like that. I just dont get it. Do I come off that way??? Hmmm.... w/e. I'm just complaining, dont mind me.
Anywhoo...if you guyz are still alive out there and remember me and still love me. Leave me a random comment Id LOVE to hear from you.
Love always,
Jessica! |
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| wReStLiNg sEaSoN hAs OfFiCiAllY BeGuN!!! |
[Nov. 22nd, 2004|11:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | In the mood! | ] |
Sorry, it's been a while but I havent had time to update. I think I'm gunna stop updating for a while...just until wrestling is over and I have time for anything other than that. I stay afterschool most of the week and do stuff for coach or I go to SOftball practice, or detention. Well not anymore...I think I'm gunna give myself a break for a while because all this responsibility has run me done and now IM SICK! I'm gunna go home early the next few days and rest (as well as do my hw).
*Wrestling Season is as exciting as i remember it to be and i think its gunna be a REALLY good season. Being wrestlerette captain is SO much more demanding than it looks. But i love it. I love the sport. i love what i do. Im a loser lol.
*I got my interim today. My mom took it very well. A lot better than expect. I got all A's and B's but an I in american history and F in geometry.
*I miss my best friend. -sigh- Oh well, what can you do? -i miss her-
*I Like a Boy! hehee... still...well ...no not really. I'm kinda over it cuz now i have 52 guys at arms reach for the next 3 months.
*Jupiter rocks my socks!!!!!!!!
* I love my boo.
* I'm sick y'all. =( I want get well cards! LOL JK
Bye guys. Leave me one to ready while im in my deathbed lol. Love you. Update when I'm not suffocated with wrestling stuff. |
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| Well if you insist. |
[Nov. 11th, 2004|11:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  flirty | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Incubizzle fo shizzle! | ] |
HeHe... I've been a bad girl ::devil horns:: Aw, whatever I don't care! What's done is done and damn, was it fun! No I'm not talking about anything sexual for you pervs out there nor am I talking about ruining anyone's life. (I just had to get that point across) School's okay, i guess. I'm still thinking about Jupiter. ::Shifts in chair then dies:: It's sad how obsessed I've become with that place. Or the guys.lol.
You know most girls spend their entire adolesence "Boy crazy" ...doing everything in their power to get a guy or just talking about them 24-7. I, on the other hand, am the complete opposite. I guess this weekend was my breaking point. I've officially gone "boy insane"! lol It will pass. It always does. BUT I DO like a boy now. Hehe. It's so cute, i'm not used to this whole "liking someone" deal. It's so much fun. I'm on a mission..well its more like a challenge. Maybe I'm doing this cuz I'm bored or maybe there's some really deep subconcious thing going on. Either way, actions are being taken..and life is finally getting THAT much more interesting. As Mr.Pringle once said "Once you pop, the fun won't stop." Lmfao. For the record though, I am not fucking with anyone's head/life/emotions nor am i stealing ANYTHING from anyone. I'm doing everything by the book...kinda.
"Shall we dance" -was cute. Tomorrow i shall take up ballroom dancing.
I Like me a boy!! ::giggles and skips away::
Oh, and i must say, I LOVE MY FRIENDS. You know, my REAL friends. Aw they're so fucking great. Hey, call me sometime guys! If you don't remember my number... you know get it from me sometime. (niek, your the exception to that sarcasm)
Party Hardy guys! Sorry I'm not gunna be there tomorrow.. Mommy fucked it all up. THere will be more senior skip days in which I WILL have my licensce AND a ride! Holla! lol |
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| My escape from the prison I created..the one I live in.. MY LIFE! |
[Nov. 8th, 2004|12:06 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pensive | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Incubus. | ] |
I escaped to Gainesville.
Lost myself and found I'm better off
when i'm here...with you.
I needed a break. I left. I came back a different person and missing my baby brother more than anything!
Gainseville, Florida- One of the most tranquil, beautiful places I've ever been to. Everyday spent there was a perfect day. Not too hot, not too cold, not too breezy or cloudy or sunny...everything just right. Not too much traffic or too far of a drive. This entire experience..this escape was just what i needed.
I never considered going to UF but after this, I think its what i need, what's best for me. I'm better off going there, though I still wanna go to other places.
Weirdest coincidence... Swimming State Finals (and debate competion) was at UF this weekend. I couldn't be there and NOT go and cheer my team on. Long, pointless story short... We made it to Finals and got 6th place (which is actually REALLY good!) It was exciting, exhausting, and overwhelming all at once. There were so many ppl there supporting there school...i got a athlete/coach wristband and was allowed in the locker rooms and on the deck with all the swimmers from all over florida. I chilled mostly in the locker room area or by the stairs, a few of the Nova guyz came and sat with me and we had a really good discussion. I tried to give them a little pep talk right before their competition and told them how much i respect them for making it this far. It was nice making someone else feel good about themselves. I ♥ Them!
I decorated their hotel room door with post-it notes with cute little sayings and congratulated them that night, i think they liked having someone there supporting them. THey're good boys, it was worth the $18 bucks I spent.
I'm moving to Jupiter and meeting a really hott surfer and marrying him and we'll spend weekends on his yacht and he'll teach me to surf an-..lol jk. But its a thought. I'm really considering moving to Gainesville though, its not that expensive its only a 5-hour drive.. well 4 hours if you DONT go the speed limit. It's nice and peaceful. It's NOT south florida.
I just got home... I'm not sure if it was the wisest choice... i think another day would've been better. I missed my baby brother. My mom's kinda mad but right now, I'm in my own world...lost in thought. I don't care. She cleaned my room (weird..) and surprised me and got me my class ring =) THere's something going on. hmm...w/e
*I'm kinda hurt. I'm kinda pissed. I'm kinda glad. I'm kinda disappointed. KaRmA..karma..Karma. Everything will work out the way it should in the end. I am not worried nor afraid, i'll embrace anything that comes to me or doesn't come to me because I'll know.. that somehow...I deserved that. I think some of you need to think about that too cuz karma will ALWAYS come back and kick you in the ass when u least expect it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. (this time around, NONE of you have a CLUE who I'm talking about..but the statement is meant from the bottom of my heart and will never be reciprocated. C'est la vie. ) |
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| Promise to Update! |
[Nov. 4th, 2004|05:27 pm] |
So the bell is gunna ring any second but i just wanted to let u ppl know im not dead and the moment i get home ima update about the crazzzy week i had last week.
TOday is my first Wrestlerette meeting as Captain so im pretty nervous and excited... anywhoo
be back tonight with more!!!
Love you guyz!
Jessica |
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| Pimpin' Ain't Easy. |
[Oct. 19th, 2004|03:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated...Sexually | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Pieces of me-Ashlee (and u still don't know why...or do u?) | ] |
So here I am again. Cold. Tired. Horny. I hate this class. I finish my work within the first 10 minutes and this really weird kid always moves to the computer across from me and smiles at me. Ew. I need something excited to happen, I need to do something crazy or I fear that I'm just gunna wallow in my pathetic excuse for self-pity and close myself from everyone again.
It's no secret nor lie that I am really frustrated right now (sexually) and i can't stand it. I'm not to be taken lightly and some people seem to think that. I mean what I say and I say what I mean. If I can't stand you, I'll tell you to your face. If I can't stand to be without you, I'll probably show it or at least say it. I'm not afraid anymore. I'm not the same girl I used to be. And thats a good thing (i guess). I care. I want. I love. And I'm not afraid to say it.
I love you so much. Even when your mad at me cuz I'm being annoying, or when I'm pissed at you cuz always seem to hurt me the worst when you don't even realize it. I still love you. I don't think I could go a day without seeing/speaking/ or thinking about you and that scares me. For once, I don't regret anything that I've done or haven't done or anything thats happened. I'm perfectly content with how it is. Well maybe not "perfectly" it's a human instinct to always want more, but it's pretty good. I can't stop thinking about you.. ever. I miss you so much and you're right here. It's a scary thought but I need you. I really do. You make me so happy, and I don't get to talk to you enough.
Oh, and for the record, YOU know who you are and no one else does. You ARE reading this and quite frankly I don't care if 50 other ppl are too. As long as u are. I care about YOU.
YUp, i did it again. I've neglected not only my classwork but my make-up work AND my homework that i was going to do in class because I can't stop thinking about you. THat, and because I really can't think right now lol (I'm so horny). I really nned to get started on my work lol!
Adeiu for now, Comment si me quieres.
P.S.Oh man, Neiky, It's So ON this Weekend! You know what I'm talking about ;)
"I own YOU now. Who's your daddy? lmao. That's was SO MUCH FUN today. I miss that." |
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| I need you more than ever. |
[Oct. 18th, 2004|12:26 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | My Boo - Usher | ] |
Lemme start off by saying I MISS JASMINE SO FUCKING MUCH! ...i kept calling but I forget theres a huge time difference :(
+ Ray's family is here... they're gunna be living with us for a while. It's so hard. I'm actually STUCK in my room now. I feel more lonely then ever.
To make it worse, i can't talk to anyone because Niek has her problems w/ her boytoy, my bff is always to high to even bother venting to and my love ...doesn't love me just "owns me" meaning "doesn't really give a shit whats up". I wish I were friendless, cuz that's how i feel right now. I need to be held and told I'm loved right now. I need someone to love me.
I'm going crazy thinking about this past week and everything that's happened. PPL/feelings change so fast, so constantly. Feelings come rushing back one minute and then i wonder what the hell I'm doing. I can't deal with all this. I can't deal with doing it all over again. I can't keep waiting for "my happy ending" to come.
...and I wait..
I wait forever for what's never going to come.
I love you so much more than I should, but I don't regret it. I love u. |
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| ...A night in Hollywood. |
[Oct. 17th, 2004|12:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | frustrated... sexually | ] |
| [ | music |
| | My Goodies | ] |
-What time is it? I'm so tired from last night. Homecoming was SO much better than I expected it to be. Everything was so perfect. When you first walk in the girls got red/black/white boas and guys got white/black hat and sunglasses it was very "Hollywood". The music was great and my date was sexy. I went insane! It was so much fun. I'm still kinda tired from last night...I had to get up really early today but w/e it was worth it.
--The Homecoming game was so much fun too. It was one of the most amazing days of my life (10/14/04) I must've seen everyone I've been missing since I started at Nova! I almost died when a bunch of really hot guyz that I knew that graduated when I was just a lil freshie where there. Omg I could not stop staring... they were too fucking beautiful. That entire day was perfect. Not going to class alllll day. = ) Pep rally was great and the volleyball game even better... ahhh .. I ♥ it a lot.
---Right now, I'm babysitting. It so time consuming, I can't leave him alone for more than 3 minutes or he starts crying, but I can't leave him alone. I can't stop hugging him, and kissing him, and holding him. I love him so much. He's turning me back into the person I used to be (which is a good thing).
----you're so great and you'll never realize it. I can't stop talking to you or wanting to talk to you. I'm so open and honest. I mean everything I say and say everything i mean. You'll always be mine... even 50 years from now when your married (ha!) and I'm married with kids... I'll still consider mine and always love you. Your stuck with me FOREVER! lol
------I need to be held and cuddled and kissed and touched and hugged and wanted and needed and loved and pleased and I want it now! ::pouts:: lol
I Miss You. I love you. Goodbye. |
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| "Don't Start with me, Delgado!" -lmao |
[Oct. 8th, 2004|04:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  horny | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I want you... right now. | ] |
Omg I heart this class so much. Getting in trouble has never been so much fucking fun! I’m done with all my work by 3:15 and I’m not allowed to go online.. fuck that lol. He loves me too much to ever get me in trouble so all he does is threaten me in front of the class but I can’t help laughing (and that gets me in worse trouble). Today was nice, I love English…its one of my favorites. She’s great. Math would be so much more confusing is it wasn’t for my tutoring…but then again its still confusing even with it. I just suck at math and its no one’s fault but my own. Homecoming is really soon and the niek has decided that she wants to go with me again. Lol. She loves me.
I also met my lil sis Natalie today. She’s great! I love her lol and next week is gunna be so much fun. I brought her brownies and I wrote her a note yesterday. She has another sister but apperantly she doesn’t care so im her one and only now.. but its all good cuz im the cool one!
Jonathan is Good. He’s getting fat lol. I love holding him. When I get home from practice at night, I like to hold him and rock him to sleep. He loooves it when I lay down and he curls up into this lil ball on my chest its so cute. He’s like a puppy.
I’m so …happy right now. Everything isn’t “all good” but I can’t help not caring. I don’t have everything I want and I can’t do everything I wish I could do, but I’m ok. I guess I’m just beginning to accept that this my life… its all I have.
SideBar/Inside jokes/End note:
*She totally wants me. That’s why I’m passing.
** “If you could meet an famous or historical figure, who would it be and what would you discuss?”
“Discuss? Who said anything about discussing?”
****I LOVE ANDREA!****
-So I’ve come to the conclusion that my 7th hour is full of idiots. And if ONE more kid passes by me says “hey baby” and touches me I’m going to fucking slap someone. Ew.
ok... and I just heard a song.ahhh I thought i could go a whole day but apperantly i cant. |
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| Who's going to Homecoming? |
[Oct. 3rd, 2004|11:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | horny | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Pieces of Me..(.and i think of you.thats why.) | ] |
Public Entry! WHat?! OoOkaAaY:
*Moniek is the bestest! She took me shopping today. (even though she was dying lol shes so sick) She bought me the bestest cookie and a pretzel! She even picked out my dress. LoL. Homecoming is so much more stressful this year now that I DONt care what I'm gunna look like. Thats the weirdest part. Back to my day. Niek got a new fone. You know I HAD to take pics lol... of my boobs! It was the funniest thing. She's so much fun. We sang Pieces Of Me completely off key TWICE and I took a pic of a reallly special lookign Van lmao.
**I want a whip. 'Nuff said.
**Saturday school was... pretty good. I did so much math Hw its sick. I finished Creary's make up work. SHe's gunna love me AND I read the first two chapters for my favorite English teacher. She's great. ;-) ::winks:: THen I sat at home for 9 hours... and dwelled on how pathetic life can be sometimes.
***I miss my friends so much. I got her back... i think.. hopefully. But JassY is leaving me... so fucking soon I don't think I even have to time to let it set in. It's been a rough week. I need a hug.
****Can I just say that Angelina is AmAzIng and I realllly wanna see Shark Tale! Really Really Baaaad! Ahhhh.
*****Monica is apparently... GrEaT!! I can't NOT talk to her. She's...just enough. I like where we are right now. It's a pretty decent place.
Side Note:
^ Fast or Slow? Lmao ..the Ultimate question. Only one person knows that.Or at least SHOULD know that ::hehe::
^ Text messaging is the BeSt thing ever created.
^ Volleyball owns me. Like a few other things.. hmm..
^Lmao..can i just say I've been so horny this weekend (I'm so serious lol).. it sucks.
^ i love you.
End Note: I know you want my goodies. Bet you thought about it. Got you all hot and bothered cuz I talk about it. If your looking for the goodies, keep on looking cuz they stay in the jar.
Love you Mucho. Jess. |
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| I'm tired. |
[Sep. 29th, 2004|11:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Jon crying... yup... gotta love it | ] |
Tired... of everything. Literally. It's been a long week. I don't know what to do anymore, uhhhh. I want a really nice massage right now. I think that would make everything a little better. My baby brother is the cutest thing in the world! Sure, I get frustrated at him but he's so adorable. Volleyball is... great. Enough said. I have a saturday detention.. that should be just dandy! I love so much, and get hurt so bad. This sucks. Guess what??? I'm doing soooo good in Chem now! Geometry could be better but im getting there... all i gotta do is somehow get an A in Amer. Hist. ...but that shouldn't be TOO hard..i think.
Ok well this was a quik and fairly pointless update because i'm falling asleep as we speak and I can't seem to remembr what I needed to say. I'll remember and update ASAP! I loveee youu guuuys.... Sorry I've been M.I. A. lately.. I don't have any time anymore! I need a break.. from a lot of things.. G'night! |
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| The good news is... |
[Sep. 25th, 2004|11:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relieved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Postal Service.. what?! | ] |
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!
...and so it goes... |
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| I ♥ U M . . . |
[Sep. 6th, 2004|11:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | TBS! | ] |
Random Question:
If we were stuck in a room together, what would we be doing?
*Come on guys, leave me a comment with your response...and make me smile! |
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| Add me and I'll add you back. Holla! |
[Sep. 4th, 2004|04:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | on the way down, i saw you and saved me from myself | ] |
I HearT mY Friends!
*I only wish you knew.
*You've got me all wrong, but you've got me. |
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|
| ::anxiety attack:: |
[Aug. 31st, 2004|04:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Eye of the tiger lol Whooo | ] |
So I just looked up som info on the hurricane and apperantly..IM LATE! IT's now a Category 4 almost a FIVE! At first I started panicking sooo bad but right now... there's this weird calmness around me. I wanna cry, and yell, and be scared but then again I just wanna laugh and smile and anxiously await its arrival. I know I'm gunna be okay I've been through many hurricanes but still its human nature to worry.
I'm going to take this time to say this..or write this for the record:
I love you.
So if I never get the chance to tell you again...you can always just remember today...right now... and think of me and how much i care about you.
♥ Jessica |
|
|
| Quick entry! |
[Aug. 27th, 2004|04:21 pm] |
So im sitting here ...in rosenthal's class completely done with everything. THere's so many things i want to say to so many people, that i just can't cuz ...i suck! lol I miss so many people/ things about last year. ABout i've gotten some really good friendships out of this year.
I am in love with everything around me. But at the same time so stressed out!
*Volleyball has turned out to be more serious than i thought it would be...which is good.
School is so much harder too!
I N E E D A B R E A K!
...gotta go bell's gunna ring. Update tonight! mwa! |
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| I'm in a Listy mood. |
[Aug. 13th, 2004|01:14 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lethargic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Incubus | ] |
10 things I want:
-Lunch with my friends
-my locker back
-my best friend back
-perfect a sport
-get my muscles back like in middle school (which btw, It's getting there)
-Open up to someone
-to learn from my mistakes
-believe in love/trust again
-seduce someone
-My liscense...and a car.
10 I'll never have:
- A full paid scholarship to my dream school.
- the strength to let go of things
- the one person I truly want.
- An honest friend anything
- Blue eyes
- True happiness
- DCT
- An 'A' in Math
- a great day
- the Chanel lipgloss I want
10 things I love:
- good advice
- comforting hugs
- cuddling
- when someone tells you how they feel
- Cruel Intentions
- Secrets
- being spontaneous
- making someone smile
- profound lyrics
- writing
10 things I hate:
- ppl who follow crowds
- insincerity
- the heat
- when everything suddenly falls apart
- my insecurties
- when ppl intentionally hurt others
- when your phone dies in the middle of a great convo
- Nova
- Florida and its pathetic excuse for a school board
-Losing against myself
PROMISES CAN "SUCK MY LEFT NUT" lol... Ahh that felt good. I am alone. "I guess I should've heard of that from you." The Truth is just some fairytale thing parents tell you to make you think there is some type of justice in this world. I need a Friend ( a real one. a true friend. someone who actuallly cares about me. ). I can't do this anymore. I'll be happy.. I swear.. sooner or later. I love you. ♥ Jessica |
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| Let's just get this over with. |
[Aug. 11th, 2004|10:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | irritated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | TBS | ] |
1. Leadership (my coach!)
2. Geometry (wulff)
3. Chemistry (james)
4. AMer. History (creary)
5. Eng III (walkinshaw)
6. Acounting (rosenthal)
7. Business systems (rosenthal)
D E A T H... I got the 3 teachers I have hated the most since I started at Nova..Well also Kelly..stupidwhore lol. I almost fainted today when i saw my schedule. I started shaking really bad and my mom got really pissed at me for getting all worked up and I had to sit for a while.
I had a dream I didn't get lunch with anyone I wanted lunch with. I woke up crying. I really hope it's not true. I felt really lonely.. then it just reminded me of something depressing. Eh, I REALLY hope I get lunch with my friends!
Comment if you either got classes with me or don't or just feel like it! |
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jlilflirtd's journal
drunk?